Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

I love a good memoir. It’s one of my favorite genres. Today while the world is buzzing about a much-anticipated memoir (do you know which one I’m referring to?) I’d like to talk about the one I just read called Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry. I, like so many, watched and loved Friends. When it first aired, I had just moved across the country leaving my friends and family for the first time. The characters, so close to my age, helped fill a space in my week that I so missed with my own friends back home. When I heard that Chandler (Matthew Perry) entered rehab back in 1997 I was shocked and felt genuine concern. Little did I know (or the world know) how much this funny, charming, quirky guy was struggling and would continue to struggle for many years. In this account, Matty, (his friends call him Matty) talks honestly and openly about his long-time addiction to alcohol and drugs and how it has taken not only a serious toll on his body (as he says in sentence three. He should be dead) it has also hijacked his love life and stolen from his professional experiences as well. The memoir is peppered with light moments and stories in Matty’s signature comedic style but he’s careful not to sugar coat his addiction. It’s real and raw and at times difficult to read because hey, remember, he’s my friend too. 

In the last twenty-five pages of the book Matty is sober and genuine, and it is in these pages I found hope for his future. In particular, in these two places:

On page 228 Matty talks about the scars he has across his chest as a result of his self-inflicted war with alcohol and drugs. He retells a story about St. Peter greeting people at the gates of heaven. “St. Peter asks ‘Don’t you have any scars? When most would respond ‘No, I don’t.’ Peter says, ‘Was there nothing worth fighting for?” 

Matty is fighting the Big Terrible Thing every day and some days are bleak but on page 229 I feel optimism for our friend, when he says, “I am enough. I am more than enough.”